I am a Teacher

The other day I was thinking about all the other jobs within my job. Teaching is way more than just talking about writing or other subjects, it's so much more than that. So, I know it's long but these are the other jobs that my job entails (all these things have really happened to me in the last 2 weeks!):

Nurse: I give squirts of handsanitizer, pass out tissues, clean & put bandaids on ouchies, stop bloody noses, put ice on bumps and bruises and I know how to cure "frostbite"(one kid came to class freaking out because he said he had frostbite, as it turns out his hands were just cold!). I teach the importance of washing your hands and getting enough sleep. I send kids home when they wet their pants. I know that drinks of water and resting at your desk will heal almost any ailment (except for pants wetting!).

Waitress: I pass out crackers, apple slices, preztels and raisins during snack time. Although, I don't take orders. My motto is "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

Mom: I have 19 children. I make sure everyone has a coat on before they go outside. I wipe runny noses. I make sure no one missess the bus or forgets their backpack. I make sure their homework and their library book is turned in on time. I teach them about making good choices and being kind and polite and to respect others. I teach them to share. I send them to timeout when they misbehave. I say things like, "Because I said so" and "Because I'm the teacher. When you're the teacher you can decide" and "Don't make me come over there". I try to tell them that boys/girls have cooties and that it's not a good idea to date, kiss or hold hands when they are in 1st grade (They'll have plenty of years for that!). I am sad when they are sad. I'm happy when they are happy. I love them even when they make mistakes.

Handy Man: I can fix staplers that won't staple, zippers that won't zip and brains that can't think. I can fix glue bottles that are glued shut, pencils that need sharpening and book pages that rip. I know how to use a copy machine. I can undo knots. I can fix little broken hearts. I can even solve daily dilemmas such as what to do when it's pizza day and all the cafeteria has left is pepperoni pizza but you ONLY like cheese pizza! Simply pull off the pepperonis and TA DA! Cheese pizza!

Police Officer: I make sure everyone follows the rules. I make sure everyone is safe and taken care of. I stop kids who "speed" (run) in the halls. I get mad at 6th graders who run over my 1st graders. I break up little 1st grade fights. I know exactly what to do in an emergency.

Wardrobe Assistant: I zip up coats and snow pants, put gloves on and tell the kids from California that it's winter time and they really DO need a coat and long pants. I tie shoelaces and hairbows. I clip on hair pieces. I cut strings off of clothing items. One time I did this and the girl's sweater sleeve came apart. And her mom had made it. Oops.

Entertainer: I try to keep students attention. I read and talk with lots of expression. I smile real big. I make silly faces and tell jokes. I move around alot and keep them moving. I get excited about everything. I make spelling and handwriting seem like Disneyland.

Actress: I pretend to have energy when I'm really tired. I pretend to be having a good day when I'm not. I pretend to still like kids who misbehave. I pretend that math really is fun. I pretend to be sad when Ian or Bryan are absent.

Cheerleader: I fill the days with "You can do it!"s and "See, I KNEW you could do it!"s and "Keep up the good work!"s. I celebrate with them when succeed. I try to make them feel good about themselves and to not get frustrated. I get excited about learning. Go! 1st graders, Go!

Counselor/Psychiatrist: I hear stories about how their Dad's name is Ben and their mom went on a mission to Australia and their sister got into BYU and their Grandpa is dying and their uncle is getting a divorce and they need to go potty because they ate too much snow and they wish their birthstone was a diamond and they're going to Disneyland this weekend and their name is really Gabriella Virginia Riginia Reagan Ella Bella and they want to be a chef when they grow up and how Weston kissed them at lunch & they didn't like it and they have a crush and they only like video games and they would rather be at home taking a nap than be at school and they're not allowed to read Berenstein Bear books and they're bored and they miss their mom (even though they saw her this morning and she's just at home) and someone called them ugly and lame and they got their hair cut last and they like BYU AND U of U and they were jogging on the ice and then they fell and that's why there's blood all over their clothes, but don't worry because it doesn't hurt THAT BAD. . .

So there you have it, welcome to my life. :)