The Strattons

My Theme Song

2012-01-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

I swear my entire life people ask what my "theme song" is and I could never think of one. Please look past the name of this song, but I think I have finally found my theme song! I especially like the "I'm your angel undercover" and "can't say I'm not alive" parts. The music video is pretty funny too. :) Sorry, I'm computer illiterate and can't figure out how to upload the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ivt_N2Zcts

Johnny's Birthday

2012-01-13T22:20:00.001-08:00

Thanks for helping us celebrate Johnny's birthday! I am still amazed at the response we got from everyone. We are definitely loved and supported. We love all of you and are so grateful to have such amazing people surrounding us.

I was a little nervous for his birthday but it was a great day. I made him the "angel bear" cake above. It was a good creative outlet for me. I wish he could have tasted it but we will be able to do that someday. Naturally, right after I finished it started falling apart. :) We had our families over for cake and ice cream and then we kept family tradition and went around the room and told what we love about the birthday boy. We then released lanterns at his graveside. It was quite the adventure. I had to control myself so I didn't burst out into a song from Tangled. We didn't get all of them up but we did get a few to work.

I was so overwhelmed with all the goodness and love in the world. God is good. Life is hard but we can find joy. I am so glad that Johnny came to our family and that he is ours forever. There is no greater gift than that. Happy birthday my sweet, amazing, life-changing son!

So True

2012-01-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

"If you know someone who has lost a child or lost anybody who's important to them, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift." -Elizabeth Edwards

I love this quote. Trust me, it's better to say something than nothing at all. I always want Johnny to be remembered.

Living

2012-01-01T15:18:00.001-08:00

What a year, seriously. Whenever my brother in law Zack tells a story about his high school shenanigans, he always ends with, "Well, you can't say we haven't lived" That is exactly how I feel about 2011. We have really LIVED this year. We have seen and experienced things that no one should ever see or experience. We have faced decisions that no parent should ever have to face. I have felt emotions (both good and bad) that I never knew existed. I have felt those emotions at intensities that I never knew existed. I have seen and felt the amazing power of prayer and priesthood blessings. I have literally felt angels carrying me. I have seen support, love and generosity that can only come through a trial this huge. Because of the trials of this year, I have a deeper connection with my Heavenly Parents and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful to each of you who has prayed for and supported our little family throughout this year. Words cannot express how eternally grateful we are. Life is hard but God is good. Here's to 2012 not "living" quite as much as we did in 2011! Happy New Year!

Johnny Tree

2011-12-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve we made a memorial Christmas tree for Johnny's graveside. We made and decorated gingerbread cookies for ornaments and each family member wrote a love note to Johnny. We all gathered around and sang Christmas songs and shared a testimony. It turned out more beautiful than we imagined. What a great way to celebrate Christmas.

Pictures taken from my sister Kylie's blog.

Blue Christmas

2011-12-19T23:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in awhile because, frankly, I don't really know what to write about. Everything I have to say feels super depressing but I guess that's life. Not everything is perfect and happy and that's ok. This Christmas season has been HARD especially this past week and it's just getting harder for me. I'm kinda struggling. Really struggling. I miss my Johnny now more than ever. It's excruiatingly painful to see cousins play together and wear matching pajamas and exchange presents. It breaks my heart that I can't buy him presents or take him to see Santa or see his face light up when he opens presents or sees Christmas lights. He would have almost been a year old. We've been having fun with Eva but it makes me sad that he can't be here with her. I almost dread going to family parties because I know I will be bombarded by things that I never got to do with Johnny. I KNOW that I will get to do all of those things with him someday and I KNOW that he is always will us but it doesn't make losing him easier. Just pray I can get through the rest of this Christmas season and through January (his birthday month). I would really appreciate it.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

Love, Snow White Eva & Pumpkin cousin Max

Fancy Nancy

2011-10-24T10:40:00.001-07:00

Eva likes to get herself dressed and "ready to go." Note the "lips" she put on herself in the last picture. Also, the poses are all her idea. Fancy! :)

Letter to My Son

2011-10-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have had a few people ask if they could get a copy of the letter I read at Johnny's funeral. So, I thought I would put it on the blog so people could read it. Hope you enjoy this letter. I wrote it shortly after Johnny passed away for his baby book.

Dear Johnny,

Wow, what a ride you have taken us on this past year. It hasn’t been easy but I’m not sure I would change a thing. We knew from the beginning that you were a very special and different little boy. Your completely normal amniocentesis, the measly 12 lbs. I gained during your pregnancy and your full-term 2 lbs. 9 oz. birth weight showed that you didn’t like to follow any rules. You were determined to write your own story.

The day you were born you beat all the odds. The doctors didn’t think you would live but not only did you survive, you thrived. You were soon known as the “rock star” of the NICU. Over time, your little body started struggling and you earned the nickname “typhoid Mary.” It seemed as if every week we found out about some new issue that you had to deal with. Daddy and I used say, “At least we don’t have to work with such-and-such specialty” but we eventually stopped saying that because every time we did, we ended up working with that specialty.

Johnny, you are the strongest and bravest person I know. Even through all your troubles, you always had a smile and you seemed to enjoy the life you were given. I loved those days I spent with you singing, playing and you sleeping in my arms while I read. You had such personality. You loved your sister Eva, fuzzy blankets, stuffed bird toys, binkies, music, grass, your baby swing, the sound of running water, having people play with your hair, bouncing on Daddy’s knee, sleeping with your tiny hand on my chest and being held all the time. You disliked baths, needles, messy diapers, arm & hand stretches, tummy time, wind, rain, car seats and anytime we tried to read “touch & feel” books with you.

You captured the heart of everyone around you. Each day brought about 4 visitors to your bedside just to check up on you and see your glasses and your infectious smile. You even had someone ask me if they could put a picture of you on their Facebook profile. Right after you passed away, a nurse came in and exclaimed, “Aw man! My wife and I were planning to kidnap him and take him to New York to start our family!” J You had 5 primary nurses that took care of us through most of your life: Pat, Susan, Angie, Chris and Ann. You loved them dearly and they loved you. You always did better when they cared for you. You were known to hold grudges against Susan when she took care of you during painful or uncomfortable procedures. She used to say, “Quick! Take his glasses off so he doesn’t know I’m here!”

Johnny, you are infamous. You have been in nearly every unit of Primary Children’s Medical Center. You have been seen by 11 different specialists. You have baffled every geneticist that has seen you. The IV team groans every time your name is mentioned. I once heard a rumor that the glasses you wore were the smallest pair the Moran Eye Center has ever made.

Your life was full of miracles. In John 9:1-3 it says “And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from birth. And his disciples asked him saying, who did sin, this man or his parents that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” Johnny, the works of God have been made manifest in you. You have influenced many. You have done more good in your short 7 months of life than many do in a lifetime.

My patriarchal blessing says that I will have the choicest of our Heavenly Father’s spirits to adorn my home and that my children will bring about much righteousness upon the Earth. You have made that prophecy come true. I feel honored that you have chosen me to be your Mother.

The scripture that will forever remind me of you is Mosiah 3:19 which invites us to “[become] as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him even as a child doth submit to his father.”

Even though you never said a word, you have taught me many lessons about life and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You have shown me the love and compassion of others. You have shown me that there is good in everyone. You have taught me how to face earthly trials with faith, joy and long-suffering. You have taught me what it means to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. You have shown me the deep love our Heavenly Parents have for their children. You have taught me how to submit my will to the Lord. You have taught me of the power of Christ’s Atonement and how to place my burdens on the Lord so that I cannot feel them upon my back. You have taught me the power of prayer and of Priesthood blessings. And most important, you have taught me about the eternal nature of the family. The blessings of the temple are real. They are not just a nice thought, they are real. This is the purpose of our earthly life, to be sealed for time and all eternity so that we can always be a family, no matter what happens on Earth. Johnny, we are going to be together forever. Nothing can take that away from us. As your sister Eva so sweetly said, “My family is going to be together forever and I don’t have to cry about it.”

I am sad that you are no longer here with us but it makes me happy that you are free from the pains, frustrations and evils of this world. I find it fitting that a butterfly was placed on your door shortly after you passed away. You were once a tiny caterpillar, trapped in the cocoon of an imperfect body but now you are a beautiful butterfly, free from all pain and suffering.

I miss you so very much. I hold onto the hope of raising you during the Millennium. I look forward to the day when I can be with you again. I cannot wait until you can draw on my walls, track mud through my house and collect rocks and bugs like little boys often do. I can’t wait to see your sweet smile again and hear your laugh. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mother. I love you forever.

Love, Your Mommy

It's the Little Things

2011-09-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Since my life isn't super peachy right now, I've been trying to find little things that make me happy. Like, how when I woke up yesterday I found that there were not one but TWO episodes of Modern Family that I hadn't seen! Or how our good friends Greg & Aubrie introduced us to using Reese's peanut butter cups in place of Hershey bars in smores. Or how awesome my hair looks in this picture. It's all about the little things in life. :)

One Month Down

2011-09-20T17:26:00.000-07:00

Johnny passed away exactly one month ago. I still can't wrap my head around everything that has happened this past year. People ask me all the time how I'm doing, well, here's my answer: I have no idea! Really. I don't know what to think or do or feel. I feel empty, like a part of me is missing. I feel trapped sometimes. I feel helpless. I feel happy and peaceful that my son is in a better place, free of his imperfect body and all the doctors and tests and sickness. I'm terrified of the future, mostly dealing with future children (when should I have another?, what if it happens again?, should I have a VBAC or another c-section?, etc., etc.). I worry that something will happen to KJ, Eva, me or someone else I love. I worry that I did something to make it happen. I feel dazed and confused. I feel loved by everyone around me. Basically, I feel everything and nothing. But, I'm alive. I'm breathing. I get out of bed everyday. I shower, get dressed and put make-up on everyday. I'm trying to fill my life with positive things. I am grateful that I have prayer, personal revelation and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I don't know how people survive without it. I have a whole new, wonderful perspective of life. I don't know what I would do without Eva. I'm trying to have faith and patience, sometimes it's excruciatingly hard but so far I'm doing it. So there you have it. That's how I'm doing. I'm a little bi-polar at the moment. :)

What Keeps Me Going

2011-08-26T10:27:00.001-07:00

"When the mother is deprived of the pleasure and joy of rearing her babe to manhood or to womanhood in this life, through the hand of death, that privilege will be renewed to her hereafter, and she will enjoy it to a fuller fruition than it would be possible for her to do here. When she does it there, it will be with the certain knowledge that the results will be without failure; whereas here, the results are unknown until after we have passed the test."

-Joseph Smith quoted by Joseph Fielding Smith

Dear Johnny,

2011-06-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

I can't believe you are 5 months old! You have exceeded our expectations and made us so proud to have you as our son. You have done amazing things already. You have been through more in your short 5 months of life than most people have in their entire lives. I look up to you and can't wait to spend an eternity with you.

Johnny, lately I've been thinking a lot about the day you were born. It was an incredible day, one of the most spiritual and joyful days of my life. I wanted to share these details with you before I forget.

We knew that you were going to have some complications but we didn't have a diagnosis, so Dr. Jacob wanted you to be born at the University Hospital in Salt Lake so that we could be right next to Primary Children's Medical Center. Your due date was Jan. 31st and we wanted you to stay inside me and grow for as long as possible. We planned to meet with the University doctors on Jan. 13th. I remember asking if we could move the appointment up because I had a feeling you would come before then, even though I wasn't having signs of labor. I was right.

For the previous few months I had been praying daily that everything would go well during delivery and that whatever happened during your birth would be what our Heavenly Father wanted us to experience. I knew that He was in charge. The weekend before you were born I knew you would be coming soon because my mucus plug started coming out (with your sister Eva, it came out the day she was born). The night of Jan. 11th I came home and packed our bags (one for Mommy and Daddy and one for Eva). We planned to go up to Salt Lake and stay at uncle Mark's house the following night so we could get up early and meet with the University doctors. You had other plans. That night I started having contractions. They were very irregular and most of the pain was in my back so I thought maybe they were just gas pains. I slept on and off through the night. I kept thinking "maybe we should go to Salt Lake now" and "maybe I should eat something" but I didn't because I didn't want to go up there for nothing. I should have listened. I took a bath at around 3 am which helped the contractions and then went back to bed.

At 6:30 a.m. on January 12th, my water broke. I bolted out of bed and yelled, "K.J. MY WATER JUST BROKE!" This woke up Daddy extremely fast. He says that they should make an alarm clock with that as the ring. I was really nervous because when my water broke with your sister Eva, I was dilated to an 8 by the time we got to the hospital! Since you were so small, I was afraid you would be born in the car! I started running around like a crazy person. Luckily, I had packed our bags the night before. Because of my history with fast labors, Dr. Jacob told me that if my water broke we shouldn't try to drive to Salt Lake, we should just go to Utah Valley and they could life flight you if necessary. So, Daddy called your grandparents and Nana came to be with Eva while we left for the hospital.

The drive to the hospital was the most nerve-wracking part of the day for me. I was so nervous that my contractions would hit really strong and we wouldn't make it to the hospital. Contractions never came. Once we got the hospital, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I knew that Heavenly Father was watching over us and that everything would be okay. The nurse got us a room and gave me an IV (this was the most painful part of your birth). She then asked if I wanted an epidural. I did but I wasn't having any contractions so I felt stupid getting one. Since this was my second baby and it could go fast, I got one right then. The epidural was heaven. After I got the epidural, Daddy gave me a priesthood blessing. I felt another huge weight come off my shoulders and I knew that this was going to be a wonderful experience. I have never felt such happiness.

You were born on a bright and clear winter morning. I remember laying on the hospital bed looking out the window at the beautiful, snowy mountains with tears in my eyes. I remember praying over and over and thanking our Heavenly Father that everything was going smoothly. I have never felt such peace and love. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Soon after that, my contractions hit strong. Your little heart didn't like that very much. Your heart rate dropped and then they lost your heart beat completely. The nurses were running around giving me oxygen and moving me around to try to get your heart rate back up. One of the many miracles of the day was that at that moment Dr. Feltovich, one of the perinatologists we had been working with came in to say hello. One look at the monitors and she immediately said, "We need to do a c-section." They talked to Daddy and I and we gave them permission to do a c-section. At that moment I knew that we had heavenly help that day. This kind of situation would usually cause me to panic but I didn't feel an ounce of fear or worry. In fact, my only thought was "Oh, no! I'm going to have a scar!" and I remember telling the anesthesiologist "Make sure I'm really numb!" We had an amazing group of doctors and nurses helping us. We kind of gave them a scare because we didn't know exactly what was going to happen once you were born. We had 3 anesthesiologists, 2 OBGYNS, 4 nurses, the entire NICU team waiting on the other side of the door and the life flight team with their helicopter all ready to transport you to Primary Children's.

Once we gave permission to do a c-section, I swear at least 10 people came rushing into the room to prep me for surgery and rush me to the operating room. Daddy says there were only 6 people. I bet the rest of them were our angels. We were blessed to have one of the anesthesiologists be Brother Grosbeck, a man from our stake who knew Grandpa Stratton. One silly thing that happened was that he accidentally popped a bag of antibiotics onto my face. Since I couldn't move so it splashed all over me! Right before they started the c-section, Daddy and Brother Grosbeck gave Mommy a blessing. They blessed us that everything would go well and that there wouldn't be any complications. During the c-section I felt really shaky and dizzy but I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Daddy and Brother Grosbeck stood right by my head the entire time. Daddy was so excited. I remember as they were pulling you out of my tummy, Daddy said, "I can see his head!!" and then "He's BEAUTIFUL!" and the best part was at 9:36 a.m. when I heard your loud squeaking cry go, "Eeeeeee!" as the doctors pulled you out and rushed you into the NICU. I was bursting with joy. You were ALIVE! You, Johnny, the little boy who we prayed for and cried over and weren't sure you would live. You were alive and you would forever be part of our family! I was on cloud 9!

Daddy went to the NICU while the doctors stitched up my tummy. He kept coming back and telling me, "He's doing really good!" and "He's breathing!" and "He's so cute!" After I got stitched up they wheeled my hospital bed into the recovery room and I waited with Grandpa Keven, Grandma Laurie and Nana. Once I was little less shaky, they wheeled my entire bed into the NICU to see you. You were so cute and SO tiny. I couldn't believe how tiny you were (and born full term!). You kind of looked like an old man because your skin was so wrinkly! Right after you were born someone told us you were 3 lbs. 14 oz. but you were actually 2 lbs. 9 oz. so teeny for a full term baby (you were born at 37 weeks)! You did so well that they were able to take you to Primary Children's in an ambulance and few hours after you were born. You could have stayed at Utah Valley but because of your heart defect, we wanted you to be up with the pediatric cardiologists just in case.

The doctors told me that I could be released from the hospital early so I could go with you but I decided to stay in Provo and recover for 4 days. I thought I would be really upset that I had to stay in Provo while you were in Salt Lake but I thought it would be best if I took some time taking care of myself. I wished I could be with you but you weren't very alert and the doctors spent most of the time doing tests on you to find out what was going on so I wouldn't have really been able to hold you. Daddy and Grandma Laurie went with you while Nana stayed in Provo with me. I spent the next 4 days sleeping, reading, eating, watching t.v. and talking with visitors. It was the best decision I ever made! I knew that you were in good hands. Daddy and the doctors would call and update me on how you were doing. You blew everyone away. They called you the "rockstar" of the NICU. I was so grateful that our Heavenly Father got you here safely and that everything went so well. What a happy, joy-filled time.

Now you are 5 months old! I had no idea you would be in the hospital for this long. You have been through a lot of hard things but you are such a happy, smiley boy. Keep being the strong guy that you are so that you can heal and come home with me! I'm so proud of you and I'm honored to be the mother of such an incredible boy. You have accomplished so much already and I can't wait to see what the future holds! I love you forever!

Love, Mommy

Drama

2011-06-07T16:47:00.001-07:00

*I would put up a picture but I'm not sure you want to see him right now. It's pretty sad.*

I'll probably sound like an idiot but I'll try to explain everything as simply as I can.

The past couple days Johnny has been through a lot. Last week he started having trouble breathing and his oxygen needs went up considerably. He was tested for infection but the tests came back negative. Even though everything was negative they started him on antibiotics. He started to improve but on Sunday he took a turn for the worst. He had extreme tachycardia (his heart rate was between 210 and 260 beats per minute, normal is around 150), his temperature was 105, his oxygen needs were at 100% and was put back on a ventilator and because of his heart his circulation was extremely poor making his hands and feet cold and blue and there wasn't a single vein in sight for IVs or central lines. Not good.

Things were really touch and go for awhile. Johnny had a rough couple of days as he endured echocardiograms, EKGs, head ultrasounds, blood draws, blood transfusions, having an arterial line put in (an IV put into an artery, they had to cut his wrist to get it in, luckily he was sedated for it), having a PICC line put in (an IV that goes through a vein up and around by your heart), spinal taps and more meds than I can count. As a mother, I cannot even begin to explain the terror and heartache that I have experienced while watching my son go through this. I hope none of you have to go through what we have gone through. Vaccines are no longer a big deal to me. Which if you know me well is a huge deal.

He is slowly getting better now. His oxygen is around 28-45% and he hasn't had a fever today. He is still on the ventilator and has to be on major sedation to stay calm. The medication he is on to lower his heart rate is working. Even though these past few days have been excruciatingly hard there have been many miracles. The biggest miracle is that he will most likely have since surgery as soon as he is better. I never thought I would ever pray for open heart surgery! I will write more about those miracles tomorrow. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers for our family this weekend. I have been amazed at the outpouring of love and prayers in our behalf. We are eternally grateful for all of you.

Adventures in Potty Training

2011-05-31T22:09:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to potty train Eva for awhile but with everything that is going on in our life it's also the last thing on my mind. I still try to talk to her about it and try to get her excited about it. This was our conversation the other night:

Me: "Hey Eva, did you know that if you go potty on the toilet you get treats?"

Eva: "Yay!"

Me: "Yeah, skittles (her favorite)! One skittle for #1 (I can't decide what to call this? Any suggestions?) and 2 skittles for poopy!"

Eva: "One skittle and TWO skittles??"

(A few minutes pass)

Eva: "Mom, I have to go potty on the toilet!"

(I put her on the toilet to see what happens. Nothing happens.)

Eva: "Umm, can I have a skittle now?"

It's going to be quite the process. . .

The Update

2011-05-17T21:37:00.001-07:00

I love this picture. He looks like he's going scuba diving. He hated the CPAP but he was happy to be held!

Sorry it's been awhile since I last updated. Johnny got pneumonia last week and had to be put on the CPAP (it blows air and helped him breathe). I'm SO glad we avoided the ventilator and having him intubated! He has a couple more days of antibiotics but he is doing really well. He's now only on 28% oxygen which is way better than the 100% he was on. This sickness wasn't as bad as the last one but it was still lame. I just want him to be healthy. Part of the reason he keeps getting sick is that his heart defect shunts extra blood to his lungs which makes it easy for fluid to get in his lungs. Cardiology refuses to do his surgery soon because he's still small (7 lbs. 7 oz.!) even though every other doctor thinks he needs it done. The main signs that means he needs surgery are respiratory problems (check!) and problems growing (he does ok but he's slow down lately). It's SO FRUSTRATING! I have never had a more frustrating experience. I just want SOMETHING "fixed"! Oh well. We have his next swallow test on Thurs. morning so we can recheck how his vocal chord/swelling/aspiration is coming along. I hope and pray that he will pass and we can get him off his NJ tube. He's outgrown his glasses and will get a bigger size on Thursday! Also, I think we're going to have him wear a helmet. It's for "vain" purposes. His head is getting little flat and funky and we don't want him to have a weird-shaped head for the rest of his life. It's lame that there will be another stinkin' contraption to deal with but I think it will pay off in the end. Might as well do it now while he won't remember! :) And if anyone needs any advice on childhood issues/doctors/specialists/etc. let me know. Pretty sure we've done/will do about everything Primary Childrens has to offer! :) How did we get into this mess?!? Anyway, I think that's everything. Thanks for the prayers and outpouring of love for our little family during this difficult time!

Progress

2011-05-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

Well, things are SO much better. Last Sunday and this Sunday are like night and day. Johnny is doing amazingly well for how sick he was last week. It's amazing what can happen in a week. Last Sunday/Monday was scary and both KJ and I thought we were going to lose our sweet boy but that kid is a FIGHTER and he made it through! We feel so blessed that things are looking up and that we survived this last week.

Johnny has Adenovirus which is beginning to clear up and it doesn't seem to bother him too much. After ruling everything out, we finally got cardiology to admit that his breathing problems were caused by his heart (which we thought from the beginning). Because of his defect, his heart pumps extra blood to his lungs and can easily cause the lungs to be flooded with fluid (aka. congestive heart failure). Now Johnny is on lots of diuretics to keep his lungs as dry as possible. They will most likely do his repair sometime this summer, around 6 months of age. I'm a little torn about the surgery. I'm dreading it but at the same time I can't wait because then he won't have these lung/breathing issues anymore.

He got tubes put in his ears on Tuesday. I'm so glad they did it. Is it weird that I was excited for him to have it done? It's an extremely common and safe procedure and I wasn't stressed about it and was thrilled We were supposed to wait until May 10th but the doctors wondered if ear infections were causing his sickness. He doesn't have ear infections but he did have quite a bit of fluid on his ears. I told them that if there is even a slight chance he needs the tubes then they should put them in. I don't want to have to deal with chronic ear infections on top of everything else. He didn't do very well on his hearing test so hopefully this will help.

Johnny is such a happy kid. They finally got him off the ventilator on Thursday!! The doctor told me that after they pulled the tube out Johnny gave a little squeak and just relaxed. She said he was looking at everyone like, "thanks guys." He has been a happy camper ever since. While on the ventilator he needed major sedation to stay calm but he hasn't needed any since being extubated! We haven't heard it yet but a few of the nurses say that he laughs now!! Last night he stayed awake until 2 am just giggling away! We love our Johnny boy! :)

Again, thank you all for the prayers. Miracles have not ceased!!

Here We Go Again

2011-04-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

Today has been a crappy day. The past couple of days Johnny has had no energy, he's usually very alert and wanting to play but lately he's been super lethargic. His oxygen needs have slowly increased but in the past two days he's gone from 40% to 90% oxygen which is a big leap. After doing a blood test this afternoon they found that his carbon dioxide levels were at 98 when they should be at 60 or lower. They did a chest x-ray and his lungs are really hazy and they are worried that he is either going into heart failure or that he has an infection. The worst part is that since he's been having such trouble breathing and has dangerously high CO2 levels he had to be put back on the ventilator. :( We all hate the ventilator but we didn't really have a choice. They already started him on antibiotics just in case and now we're waiting for tests to come back see if it's an infection. We should also be meeting with cardiologists to discuss whether or not this is caused by heart problems and what they game plan should be. Every week I think "it can't get worse than this" and then it always does get worse. Sorry I'm such a bummer but my life isn't super fun right now. I hate seeing my son suffer. He really hates the ventilator and tries to pull it out. They have him pretty sedated. I hope and pray that this will pass soon and he can get off the breathing tube. I know that my little Johnny boy is in the Lord's hands and that he has angels surrounding him. I just need to trust completely in the Lord and have the courage to accept his will. I'm so grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel and forever families. I know everything will work out. I just need to be patient. Thank you all for your love, support and prayers in our behalf. We are so thankful for you.

Are We Done Yet??

2011-04-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

*Warning: this is a very long post*

Wow, this last week has been rough. It was one of those "they should have tied my tubes during my c-section because I'm never having another baby" kind of weeks. It all started out last Friday when the cardiologist called and said that he was looking over Johnny's most recent echo and there was some high pressure in the right side of his heart that concerned him. On Saturday morning they did another echo while Johnny was a little sedated so that he wouldn't wiggle and they could get a really good look at his heart. After the echo they still thought the pressure was high aka. he has pulmonary hypertension. Well, this was kind of a big deal because if you don't treat pulmonary hypertension right away it becomes irreversible and eventually the heart will failure and the person will die. Lovely.

On to Monday. I got to the hospital that morning and during rounds the neonatologist and our nurse practitioner were explaining the situation to me. They said that pulmonary hypertension was a big deal (which I knew) and that cardiology wanted him to have a cardiac cath done. The worst part was they told me "Just so you're prepared, he has to be intubated for it and there is a chance that he won't respond well to the cath and he may never come off the ventilator. And if that happens he won't have a future, so you need to decide what you would do in that situation." (cue annoying "pity face"). Basically they were saying that I needed to decide if we would be willing to pull the plug on our son. Are you kidding me!!?? So, my choices are to a) do nothing and let my child die of pulmonary hypertension or b) do the cath and have him possibly stay on the ventilator for the rest of his life. Not good choices.

I tried not to freak out and asked to speak with a cardiologist because frankly, they know more about this than the neonatologist and nurse practitioner. The cardiologist came and explained everything and answered my questions. He said that they must have understood wrong. Nothing during the cath would make Johnny stay on the ventilator forever but it may be harder to be extubated because of past history. Well, Johnny hates the ventilator and does a MILLION times better without it in (remember this post?), so that made me feel a little better. But I was still freaked out.

After talking about it K.J. and I decided to do the cardiac cath because just giving up and letting Johnny die isn't an option, even if the procedure is scary. So, they took him down to the cath lab on Wednesday morning. I was terrified. I'm mean, this is my 3 month old we're talking about. Right before they took him in the cardiologist told us everything that could go wrong during the procedure. I HATE that they have to do that. Seriously. As if I wasn't scared enough. A few of the risks include heart attack, losing a leg and death! They're not super likely but still they've happened before. AHHH!! I was pretty much a mess at that point.

After 3 incredibly long hours, they finished and Johnny was taken back to his bedside. The MIRACLE of many miracles that day was that he was extubated before they brought him back!! Hallelujah! Luckily, one of Johnny's primary nurses was there and she pretty much forced them to take it out. And he did great with it out. Thank you Pat! The next miracle was that they found that he DIDN'T have pulmonary hypertension! They thought it was hypertension but it was actually extra blood getting shunted to his lungs because of his heart defect. So we went through all that stress and worrying for nothing! At least we know what's going on now.

At this point it looks as though Johnny will have his repair surgery done around 6 months instead of 2 years. We just need him to get bigger. And speaking of bigger, he is now over 6 lbs.! I hope he can have his surgery sooner rather than later. Even though I am TERRIFIED for the surgery, I can't wait to have it over with and get on with life. Thank you for all the prayers and support. We couldn't have done it without heaven's help. I know that my son is in the Lord's hands and that everything will work out eventually, even though it's extremely scary at times.

So, that was our week. A note to all my friends/family with kids, DON'T COMPLAIN! If your kid has a runny nose or a cold or an ear infection or a diaper rash or they throw tantrums or they make messes or they wake up at night or they won't eat anything but cookies DON'T COMPLAIN! It could be way, way worse. I would give ANYTHING to deal with those things instead of what we're facing/have faced. Please, do it for me.

False Alarm

2011-04-07T18:24:00.001-07:00

So, our big day turned out to be not so big. We didn't do the swallow test or the surgery. The swallow test has been postponed until next week because the ENTs accidentally scheduled the test for tomorrow morning instead of today. We had decided not to do it tomorrow because we thought he would be intubated for his surgery today and didn't want him to fail because they did the test so soon after him being extubated.

The opthamologist wanted to do an exam in the O.R. while Johnny was sedated and then they could decide what kind of surgery to do or if it needed to be done. Well, the pressure in his eyes are a little bit high but not high enough to need surgery. They think it can be controlled with medicine and eye drops. He may end up needing the surgery down the road but it can wait for now! And the best news is that he didn't need to be intubated! Yay!

Now we just wait until we can do the swallow test. This is now the only thing keeping Johnny in the hospital! Hopefully they can do it either tomorrow or next week sometime! Man, this emotional roller coaster is wearing me out! It's so back and forth everyday, one second everything's good and the next it's bad, etc., etc., etc. Anyone have any tips for stress relief?? Cause I sure need it!

ANOTHER Surgery

2011-04-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, you heard right. Johnny is having ANOTHER surgery tomorrow. Boo. He has developed glaucoma (high eye pressure). But don't freak out, this is pretty common in kids who have had cataracts removed (about 85% get it) and it's not the same as adult glaucoma (did you know there are 10 types of glaucoma? I didn't). Anyway, they're going in and doing an eye exam while he is sedated and then doing surgery depending on how high the pressure is.

I'm not super worried about the surgery but I really don't want him intubated again! I HATE VENTILATORS! But since he has to go under general anesthesia, we don't have a choice. I'm nervous that having the breathing tube in will set him back with the eating issues. We asked to have the most qualified ENT they can find to intubate him. Keven & KJ gave him a blessing on Monday night and I pray that all goes well. Poor little dude!

He is also having his swallow test tomorrow morning. Hopefully his aspiration problems are improving. Come Johnny, you can do it! Well, I'm tired and we have a big day ahead of us so I'm off to bed! Wish us luck and keep our little buddy in your prayers!

P.S. Sorry I don't a cute new picture. I'll work on that.

The Waiting Game

2011-03-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

The question I get asked most often is, "What does Johnny have to do to come home?" Well, here it is for everyone to see. He has to do these 4 things in order to come home:

1. Breathe on his own for at least 7 days. (which has done since birth)

2. Keep his temperature in a crib. (which is is doing now)

3. Eat on his own and consistently gain weight while eating on his own. (he is gaining weight but he isn't eating on his own at the moment, he has a NJ feeding tube)

4. KJ and I have to learn baby CPR. (which we will do has it gets closer to discharge time)

So, there it is. He doesn't have to get to a certain weight. They would have sent him home at 3 lbs. if he was doing all the stuff above. The thing keeping him in the hospital now is feedings. After doing a swallow study (take x-ray pictures while he bottle feeds) we found that he is aspirating (inhaling) milk into his lungs when he eats by mouth. He also has moderate reflux. So, at the moment he is not getting any food by mouth, only through a feeding tube that passes his stomach and goes into his small intestines (NJ tube). We have to wait for 4 weeks until they do another swallow study and see if it improves. The problem was most likely caused by intubation during his last eye surgery (stupid intubator!!). So, we wait and pray that his muscles and vocal chords will heal by April 8th so he can protect his airway and come home! There is a chance that he will be sent home on a feeding tube but I really, really, really don't want to have to do that. Pray we survive these next few weeks. I'm getting EXTREMELY sick of having a child in the hospital. I hope and pray that no one ever has to go through this same (or similar) experience!

My Little Minion

2011-03-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

See the resemblance? :)

Glasses

2011-03-10T22:02:00.000-08:00

This picture is really fuzzy but here are Johnny's glasses! Did you know that with these glasses he can see better than a non-glasses-needing newborn? He can. With these bad boys on he has 20/20 vision. Pretty cool, huh?

P.S. Don't miss the update below!

A Good Day. . .I know

2011-03-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

Today has been a good day for us. Johnny was awake for most of the day. He and I spent the day snuggling, playing with toys, singing songs, doing leg stretches and massages, reading books and sleeping (him, not me). I love these kinds of days. :)

The latest update is that he is having a "hard bronch" and possible something-plasty (can't remember the name but it's where they trim some of the soft cartilage by his larynx) tomorrow. The ENTs are going to put a camera down his throat and see what's going on with his larynx and vocal chords. They are doing this because he has a stridor (raspy breathing) and after doing a shallow study (they watch him eat using an x-ray machine to see where the milk is going) they found that Johnny aspriates (inhales) milk while he eats. The ENTs think doing the procedure will help his breathing, eating and oxygen sats. Pray that it will cure it! I think it will make a huge difference.

The only other news is that he is now 4 lbs. 9 oz.! Exactly 2 pounds bigger than his birth weight!

Good day...I think

2011-02-27T16:36:00.000-08:00

Hey all. K.J. here. It's been a while since I posted and I wanted to thank our dear friends and family for the wonderful outpouring of love and concern on our behalf. I feel blessed to be surrounded by so many good people. As Macie mentioned in her last post, we have had some good times and some bad times this week.

First I'll start with more good. Johnny continues to gain weight and is now a 4 pound baby! Wahoo! We finally were able to convince the powers that be that not holding our little man was worse for his growth than leaving him alone in his isolet to let him scream all day. We were happy about that.

Now for the not-so-awesome. I woke up early this morning with an awful pain in my left side. After a call to our urologist friend, he confirmed that I was passing a kidney stone. I seriously have a new respect for women with children, especially Macie. They say passing a kidney stone feels like going into labor without the delivery. If you ask me, I think it feels like a hedgehog was born in my kidney and decided he needed to burrow his way out my you-know-what. We are staying in Salt Lake so Macie called my uncle and cousin to come and give me a blessing. You know its bad when the only place you can get some level of comfort is in the bath tub and the pain has humbled you to the point that you are willing to let them give you a blessing while you are completely naked (picture that one...I dare you :). But God is great. He did ease my pain and the death stone passed to my bladder shortly after the blessing and it seems to have taken up residency there until further notice.

Meanwhile, at the NICU this afternoon, Johnny got a fever and they ran some tests and his CRP (inflammation) levels are high, which is usually a sign of infection. When it rains it pours at our house. They have started him on antibiotics already, but the tests haven't come back yet to confirm whether he has an infection and, if so, what it is exactly so they are treating him as best they can for now. His CRP levels aren't nearly as high as the last time he had an infection so we're hoping for the best.

As they say in Venezuela, "Lo que no mata, engorda" or "That which doesn't kill you only makes you fatter!" Boy do I feel fat today :).

Mommy knows best

2011-02-24T21:36:00.000-08:00

Well hello again, this week has been a little tough. Johnny just hasn't been himself and his weight keeps fluctuating significantly. He gains a lot, loses a lot, gains a lot, etc., etc. He has been extremely fussy and gassy. It has been hard for me to see him be so upset and not really be able to do anything about it. I have found that if I put a heat pack on his tummy, wrap him up tight and hold him he does better.

I have been so frustrated with the doctors and nurse practitioners this week. They switched the fortifier they put in his breast milk and the next day he started being fussy and losing weight. I kept telling them that the new fortifier was what was causing the weight loss because he spends most of the day screaming in pain. I also kept asking them to take the fortifier out for a couple of days and see what happens. But they didn't listen. So Johnny suffered and he kept losing weight. Yesterday the nurse practitioner (who is a really rude lady) told me that I couldn't hold Johnny as much because me holding him too much was the problem. BAH! THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM! IT'S THE STUPID FORTIFIER!! Anyway, I didn't listen and held him anyway. Then they FINALLY switched to a different fortifier and he hasn't had a problem since (with fussiness or weight loss) Take that Dr. Kelly! Mommy knows best. Always trust your gut!

Whew! Sorry about that rant. It feels good to get it out of my system. I have really liked the doctors and nurses we work with but there were a couple this week that drove me crazy!

The past couple of days have been better. Johnny has been gaining weight and he seems much more content. He has had a little trouble with desating (low oxygen saturation) and after the ENTs did a throat scope it looks like he has Laryngomallia (I think that's spelled right). I'm not quite sure how to explain in in a way that makes sense but basically it's that he has soft cartilage that occasionally gets sucked into his throat and makes it hard for him to breathe. Usually kids will outgrow it but the ENTs think having some of it trimmed down (they take about 2 mm off) will help improve his feedings. We haven't made a decision about what to do yet. We don't want to do anything unnecessary since he may just outgrow it. We will keep you posted.

So that's about it. I'm sorry if I don't make any sense. Johnny's problems are kind of confusing sometimes and it's hard to explain without going into major detail and boring you all with medical jargon. But we are pleased with how he's been progressing and hope to get out of the hospital soon! Thanks again for all the prayers and support! I don't know how I could survive this horrible trial without them! :)

Two Step

2011-02-20T18:35:00.000-08:00

This week we experience the NICU two step (you know, one step forward one step back) AGAIN. Let's not do it again Johnny. Last time I posted Johnny had gained 45 grams in one day. Then he lost 80 grams in two days. :( In an effort to try to help him gain weight he is back in an isolette (like an incubator) with the warmer on so that he doesn't have to use energy to keep his temperature. It was a bummer because he has been keeping his temperature extremely well lately and they were about to move him to a crib.

He also just hasn't been himself this week. He cries all the time and it's really tough to calm him down. He has always gotten upset about stuff but now he just acts fussy and uncomfortable. I think the problem is that the doctors changed the fortifier they put in the breast milk and it gives him gas. I hate seeing him be so sad. Gas is no fun.

But everything has a silver lining and he has gained all of the weight back plus 5 grams. In one day. That's my boy. I really think he lost so much weight because on Thursday I didn't go to the hospital because I was feeling sick and didn't want to risk giving it to him. That was the day he did the worst. Last night went and I did "skin to skin" with him and gave him some mommy love. He has done better since. :)

Grow, Johnny, Grow!

2011-02-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been a while since I last updated. The best news we got today is that Johnny now weighs 3 lbs. 8 1/2 oz.! He gained 45 grams yesterday. If he keeps it up he'll be 4 lbs in about 4 days! You can mostly see his weight gain in his face, he's starting to get chubby cheeks and a double chin. :)

Johnny got the cataract removed from his left eye last Thursday, so we're done with the surgeries! Yay! Everything went great and so far there haven't been any complications. He should get his glasses within the next couple of weeks. Contacts will come in the next few months! They'll be able to replace the lenses in his eyes (like they would do if he was an adult having cataracts removed) when he's about 12 years old. Once those are replaced then he won't need contacts or glasses anymore. I'm so grateful for modern medicine and technology. Johnny would be blind without it!

Surgeries are over and he is extubated and breathing on his own. He went from being intubated to breathing room air (no oxygen) which is amazing for a baby with a heart defect. Go Johnny!

The next big thing we will be working on is trying to get Johnny to eat on his own, through either bottle or breast. Our doctors and nurses say this can be the most frustrating part of his hospital stay. It could take weeks or months, there's no way to know for sure. Lovely. He did really good today and drank 16 cc's of his 30 cc bottle. The main part of his problem is that he fatigues really easily. He starts out wide awake at the start of his feed and then crashes half way through and we have to put the rest of the milk through his feeding tube. Babies with heart conditions tend to have a harder time eating and gaining weight because the heart has to work extra hard to function. He's also a little weak from his surgeries and infection.

He's making a lot of progress. I hope it will continue. Most of our NICU friends have gone home this week. I'm ready for it to be our turn!

Still another update

2011-02-09T08:34:00.000-08:00

Nothing major to report. Johnny is still doing really well. He's done with the antibiotics so no more sad IVs (they put one in his head the other day, it was freaky). He has a diaper rash from the antibiotics but it's going away. His voice is still raspy and they are concerned that his vocal chords may be damaged. I'm trying not to panic until they tell me that they know anything for certain. Today during rounds the doctors will discuss whether or not they will do surgery on his left eye tomorrow. That about sums it up for now.

Eva is so excited to see Johnny. She hasn't been able to because she's too young to go in the NICU. Whenever she comes to the hospital she asks, "I say hi to baby Johnny?" It breaks my hear that I have to say no. She's always telling us, "I texting baby Johnny." I can't wait for them to meet someday. :)

Getting Better (knock on wood)

2011-02-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

Whew! We've almost survived this week. I'm SO ready for it to be over but it seems like things are looking up. After Wednesday I thought things couldn't get worse but then Thursday came along. Johnny had a "code blue" situation where his heart and breathing stopped and they had to do chest compressions and the "bag" him (breath for him) and the whole bit. Luckily we weren't there at the time, apparently it was pretty scary. We had planned to get to the hospital early that morning but ended up sleeping in. I'm so grateful we did. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle seeing that happen to my baby. He was pretty unstable from about 8:30 to 10:30 am. When we got to the hospital around 11:00 am he was stable and they had him sedated. We kept the nurses and respiratory therapy team pretty busy that day.

I'm a little bugged because everything was caused by the stupid intubator. The tube caused irritation and mucus and when Johnny would cough the tube would get clogged and he would stop breathing. He was finally extubated on Thursday night and he hasn't had a problem since. So now his throat is swollen and irritated and his cries sound like Donald Duck, all raspy kind of like a smoker baby. Poor buddy. And once his throat gets better he'll have to be intubated again for his surgery next Thursday. :( But this time they'll extubate him as soon as possible. I guess we just experienced the so called "NICU two step" one step forward, two steps back.

We got the infection test results and Johnny has a Staph aureus bacteria in his blood. But don't panic it's not what you usually think of when you hear "staph infection." They've already started him on the antibiotics for it and recent blood tests show that it's working and the infection is going away. He should only need to be on the antibiotics for another 3 days. We're lucky that they caught it so early.

He's done remarkably better today so I think we're moving on and things will get better. I hope this next week isn't so bad and they can get his second eye surgery done. On another note, through this entire thing Johnny has continued to tolerate his feedings and gain weight. He now weighs about 2 lbs. 13 oz. almost 3 lbs.! :) And we finally got to hold him. We hadn't been able to since Sunday. He loves being held (especially when Mommy holds him) and we love it too. :)

Bad Day

2011-02-02T21:58:00.001-08:00

So, Johnny had quite the rough day today. The doctors kept him intubated since they were planning to do the second eye surgery tomorrow. But last night he started having episodes where he would stop breathing and his blood oxygen levels and heart rate would drop drastically. Not cool little dude. Not cool. We were there for a couple of them. Worst experience EVER. He has had a lot of mucus secretions from his lungs. They have been suctioning his lungs about every half an hour most of the day. Also, his temperature has been a little high. These episodes could be caused because of irritation from being intubated but most likely it's a mixture of irritation and an infection. He had a spinal tap done (to test his spinal fluid) and his mucus was tested and everything came back normal. So no RSV, viruses or meningitis. Yay! We're still waiting to hear the results from the blood and urine tests. Those tests should be ready in a couple of days. They already started him on antibiotics this morning. I guess they start treating babies for the worst case scenario until they get the test results back. Hopefully it won't stick around for too long because they caught it early.

We went back to the hospital after dinner and Johnny looked a lot better than he did this afternoon. I really hope that means he's on the mend. They're not doing is second eye surgery tomorrow, they'll wait until next Thursday. Hopefully they'll extubate him tomorrow morning. We're just waiting for the neonatalogist to approve it. I think that's what caused most of this. This has been one of the worst days in my history of motherhood. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But things are looking up. Thank heavens for prayer and the power of the priesthood.

Johnny Wonder

2011-02-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

Here's a picture of Johnny just after his surgery yesterday. He has been doing well. They took the eye patch off shortly after he began recovery, but he'll be staying on the intubator (the breathing tube) until Thursday's cataract surgery. In other, more awesome news, we got his micro-array results back today (where they check for any genetic abnormalities) and everything came back normal. Miracle of miracles, this kid has no genetic diseases! He is a living breathing anomaly! Just your average two-pound-full-term-baby with cataracts and a heart defect.

1st Surgery Day

2011-01-31T16:52:00.000-08:00

Everything went well with Johnny's surgery this morning. The doctors did have a little bit of trouble getting the ventilator in since Johnny's mouth/throat is so small but that was the only thing that went wrong. Since they had trouble with the ventilator and his next surgery is on Thursday, the doctors decided to leave the ventilator in until then. :( It's been so hard seeing him with it in. It seems SO annoying. Luckily Johnny is pretty heavily sedated and on pain meds. I just have to keep telling myself that a few days of annoying ventilators and monitors is better than being blind for life (which is what would happen if he didn't get the cataracts removed). But we're glad that there were no complications (so far) and that we'll be done with the surgeries by the end of this week. I'm ready to be done with it all. Thanks for the prayers in our behalf. They're working!

P.S. Today is Johnny's due date!

The Latest

2011-01-30T15:29:00.000-08:00

The latest on Johnny is that they tested his red blood cell count and it was still down. So they did a blood transfusion. Poor little guy. When we went this morning to see him he had 2 IVs, one in his arm and one in his leg. It's so hard to see your baby go through difficult things. K.J. and Hayden were able to give him a blessing which was comforting. He goes in for his first eye surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30 am.

The Big Question

2011-01-27T17:31:00.000-08:00

I STILL can't get pictures on here, but I'll keep trying. If you want to see pictures right away then go to either K.J.'s or my facebook page.

The big question I get lately is "Has Johnny gained any weight?" The answer is yes, he has. He lost a little weight right after birth (which is normal) but now he's past his birth weight. As of last night he weighs 1250 grams or about 2 lbs. 12 oz. He's been steadily gaining weight which is very good. He needs to keep it up!

Another Update

2011-01-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

I'm having trouble uploading pictures. I'll try again tomorrow. Sorry for all the picture-less posts.
So, not tons of new stuff to update. Johnny is still the rock star of the NICU. His red blood cell count is still a little bit down but they tested his immature red blood cells and that count was really high, which is good because that means his bone marrow is producing red blood cells. They'll check the count again on Friday. We're really hoping to avoid a blood transfusion. He's still not showing symptoms of having a low count, so that's a good sign.

The eye doctors rescheduled his cataract surgery. He'll have the first eye surgery on Monday (the 31st) and the second eye surgery on Thursday (the 3rd). After talking to the doctor it looks like he will get his glasses and possibly contacts as soon as the surgeries are done. Crazy! I'm not 100% sure of the details of the post-surgery plan but I will let you know when I find out.

He got to start wearing clothes today! I love how cute he is in those miniature clothes. :)

Thanks for all the support and prayers. It's really nice to know that people care about us and our little family. Keep them coming! We love you all! :)

No Surgery

2011-01-24T15:56:00.000-08:00

Johnny was supposed to have his first cataract surgery today (they do one eye at a time) but the doctors decided to postpone it until next Monday because his red blood cell count is still a little low. The cell count has been going up but it's not where it should be. Instead of doing a transfusion, the doctors want to wait a week and let the levels go up on their own. They'll also re-check his eyes to see if anything has changed. I'm glad that he won't need the transfusion and that he'll have another week to grow a little before surgery but it is a little frustrating that we have to wait to continue his treatment.

Update

2011-01-21T15:21:00.000-08:00

I thought I would update you all on how little Johnny is doing. I cannot believe all the progress he has made in one week! He's doing incredibly well, a million times better than anyone expected him to. He's still breathing on his own (no oxygen), his heart is functioning well, he has a feeding tube but he's tolerating his feedings well (no spitting up, choking or digestive issues) and the best news of all (well, to me) is that he nursed for 5 min. TWICE! Wahoo! Hopefully we can get him going longer and get rid of that lame feeding tube!

The one thing they're concerned about is that his red blood cell count is a little bit low. He isn't having any of the signs of stress because of it (usually the baby's heart rate will go up or they'll have trouble breathing) so they are giving him iron and folic acid to try and get the count up. He's having eye surgery on Monday so if the count hasn't gone up by Sunday then they'll have to do a blood transfusion. Let's pray it goes up.

Every nurse that has cared for Johnny has described him as "feisty." He definitely knows what he wants and when he wants it and he gets frustrated easily. And if you do something he doesn't like then watch out! He has been known to hold grudges against nurses for pulling tape off of his skin! :) He has squeaky little "baby kitten" cries but they are LOUD. You can hear him even through his incubator. We sure love him.

Introducing

2011-01-15T10:08:00.001-08:00

Keven John Stratton III

Born January 12th, 2011 at 9:08 am

2 lbs. 9 oz. 14 inches long

Johnny's Story

2011-01-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! K.J. here checking in from Primary Children's NICU. A lot of you have been asking about our baby boy, so I think a bit of explanation is in order. Believe it or not, our little 2 lb. 9 oz. miracle is only three weeks early, but I get ahead of myself.

Our journey with this little guy got interesting about five months ago after his first regular ultrasound. After the nurse did the ultrasound, she told us that the doctor wanted to see us in his office. Not a good sign. When we met with the doctor, he said they had noticed that his growth was a little delayed, he had extra fluid on his kidneys and ecogenic bowel (meaning it was blocked up). On their own, these things aren't necessarily bad, but put together they are soft signs of a genetic disorder. At the time, they told us there was a good chance he had Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18. Having had a similar scare with Eva, we knew what Trisomy 18 was and that it wasn't good. Children with this genetic disease rarely live longer than a week, and baby boys' life spans are usually even shorter.

The following months were filled with uncertainty for our little family. The further the pregnancy went along, the further our little Johnny fell off the growth curve. With subsequent ultrasounds we found that he had an AV canal heart defect which further concerned our doctors. Without getting an amniocentesis, however we couldn't get any answers. The only problem for us was that the test would not be covered by our insurance and it is quite expensive. With each subsequent doctor's visit, they became more and more concerned that he may have Trisomy 18. Finally after many prayers and several hours on the phone, our insurance company relented and told us they would cover the amniocentesis. We were thrilled to finally get some answers, so on Dec. 14, we got the test and settled in for a two week wait for the results.

Ever since that first ultrasound, we prepared ourselves for the worst. The longer we waited, the more sure I was that I would be burying my son before my 26th birthday. We walked each day by faith, unsure of many things but sure of the covenants we had made and the eternal nature of our family.

The week after Christmas we finally got the results back from the amniocentesis. His cells were normal. We were happy, but perplexed. Nothing had changed. If anything his prognosis had gotten worse. He was falling further and further off the growth curve so this news left us with no answers. We knew what he didn't have, but we still didn't know what was going on. The doctors decided it would be best if Macie delivered at the University of Utah, because to give him the best chance at survival, he would probably have to be taken to Primary Children's Hospital. The specialist who was going to deliver couldn't meet with us until Jan. 13. We decided that we would move up to Salt Lake on the evening of Jan. 12 so that we could be close. Once again, it became a waiting game for us.

Fast forward to Jan. 11. Macie spent the night having fairly regular contractions, but not regular enough to go to the hospital. At about 6:30 am on Jan. 12, her water broke. Not sure we would be able to get to the U of U hospital in time, we rushed down to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. Upon our arrival, Macie was hooked to monitors and given an epidural but didn't progress. Around 8:45, they lost Johnny's heart beat and we decided to do an emergency C-section. At 9:08 am, our 2 lb. 9 oz. miracle was born. At first he wasn't breathing, but after a few tense moments, he let out a feeble cry and they put him on a ventilator and he and I took an ambulance ride up to Primary Children's while mom recovered in Provo.

Since his arrival, he has done great! They took him off his ventilator on Jan. 13 and took him off his oxygen yesterday (Jan. 15). They are doing studies to see why he is so small and what caused his heart defect. At this point, it looks like Macie got a virus early in the pregnancy that may have caused all these things, but it could also be a genetic problem. His heart defect is better than we originally thought. He may not need surgery on it until he is one or two (instead of the six to eight months we thought at first). His most pressing need right now are the cataracts he has in both eyes. Before he leaves, they will have to remove them and he will have to wear thick glasses until he is about age 13, but as long as everything goes well he will be able to see.

Not even in my highest of hopes did I believe that my son would be doing this well. Five months ago, I gave up most of my dreams and hopes of being able to raise him. Today, I am preparing for eight and thirteen years into his future! Johnny is tiny, but our doctors call him the rock star of the NICU. He is surpassing all expectations. The more I get to know him, the more I realize that this kid has a great work to do.

Eva Funnies

2010-08-10T15:27:00.001-07:00

Check out that sweet wig! :)

K.J. spoke in church last Sunday so he was sitting on the stand. In the middle of Sacrament meeting (after K.J.'s talk) Eva stood up on the pew, waved her hands above her head and yelled, "YAY DADDY!!" Hey, she's a supportive daughter. And K.J. did a good job. :)

Yesterday, went a little something like this:

Eva's apple juice runs out. . ."Dang it, Mommy, Dang it!"

Eva drops her baby doll. . ."Dang it, Mommy, Dang it!"

Oops, my bad. I guess I learned my lesson. :)

Random Rantings

2010-04-22T20:06:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be 26 tomorrow! That means I'll be closer to 30 than I am to 20. Weird.

Eva went potty (#1) on the bathroom floor today. I said, "Eeek, we don't go potty on the floor!!" She looked at me like "Oops, sorry mom, I can't control it." I was planning to mop the bathroom floor. I guess now I HAVE to!

I took Eva to the library to check out books. She didn't really care about READING the books, she just wanted to pull as many as she could off the shelves onto the floor. It was hard to keep track of where the books were supposed to go. I feel bad for the poor librarian who has to reorganize the books I put back in the wrong place.

KJ has been gone all day. For his work he goes to Republican conventions throughout Utah. Today he had one in Nephi. We miss him when he's gone.

I washed our sheets today. As I went to put them on the bed I knocked over my cup of Diet Coke and it spilled all over my freshly washed sheets. Bummer. Now I'm waiting for them to be rewashed before I can go to bed.

Eva knows some really random words. She has recently added socks, princess, stuck and oh well to her repertoire.

We celebrated Earth Day by recycling water bottles at the Disney Store and empty make-up containers at the MAC counter. We got a hat and a new lipstick in return. Did you know that if you take 6 empty MAC containers to the the MAC counter, you get a free lipstick? You do. And it can be on any day, not just Earth Day!

Well, that's enough randomness for one night. Now I'm off to clean the bathroom and then paint crafts while I watch Everybody Loves Raymond! Goodnight!

Double Dose of Disney and an Easter Dress

2010-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

"Say Cheese!"

On our way home we stopped in Palm Desert to have "brunch" with Grandpa Herb & Grandma Susan. It was Grandpa's 85th birthday!

Eva & Daddy on her favorite ride! We couldn't pass the carousel without Eva squealing/screaming and trying to jump out of the stroller!

Eva in her Easter dress from her Nana (my mom).

We took 2 trips to Disneyland! The first one we went with our friends Matt & Lecia and their little girl Kennedy. The second was with my family. We had to use our annual passes before they expire in May! We also got to visit our favorite LA Thai restaurant, It's Thai and see our old summer 2009 stompin' grounds. We love Disneyland!!

For Bethany

2010-03-16T18:43:00.001-07:00

Here is the picture of Eden and the "Big Pot." For the story of the "Big Pot" please go here.

Aunt Ky-Ky's Wedding

2010-03-16T18:31:00.001-07:00

Eden & Eva playing under a table at the reception.

The Manti temple. KJ took this picture on the morning of the wedding from our hotel room window.

My sister Kylie got married on Feb. 25th. It's still weird to me (she's my little sister, isn't she still 5??) but we love Zach so we couldn't happier for them! The night before the wedding our families drove to Manti and stayed in the Manti House Inn, a bed & breakfast right across the street from the temple (just like we did before my wedding day!). I didn't get a lot of pictures that day. Isn't that temple picture gorgeous?

Girly Girl?

2010-03-10T18:03:00.001-08:00

Eva has needed her nails trimmed for a long time. Unfortunately, she would never sit still and I'm a wuss and didn't want to risk cutting her finger while I trim AND try to wrestle with her. Well, today I got sick of being clawed to death and I had a stroke of genius.

Me(in the most enthusiatic voice I could muster): "Eva! Do you want to play beauty parlor with mommy?!"

Eva: "Yeah!!"

Me: "Ok, I'll trim your nails and you can brush my hair."

Eva: "Yeah!" (Excited laugh and clapping)

Then she sat perfectly still while I trimmed her nails. I kept my promise and I sat on the floor and let her brush my hair (her new favorite thing). Brilliant.

Sweet Eva Kate

2010-02-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

We frequently sing the chorus of Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline to Eva, but we change "Caroline" to "Eva Kate." Now when we sing it she adds the "bum-bum-bum" to the end!

Animal Sounds & Dancing Fool

2010-02-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently

2010-01-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently Eva has KJ all figured out.

When a cell phone rings or makes noise she stops, looks around and says, "Da-da"

While at the distribution center, she saw a picture of a man reading the scriptures. She looked at me then pointed to the picture and said, "Da-da!"

Whenever she sees any of the Muppets she points and exclaims, "Da-da!!"

She certainly knows what he's all about! :)

Dear Baby Teeth,

2009-11-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

I would really appreciate if you would just come out already! You turn my sweet little Eva into a crusty little stinker! Ever since you decided to show up she screams, hits, randomly bursts into tears and doesn't sleep much (which means I don't sleep). I am tired of having to drug her with Tylenol every night! We like having you come because that means Eva can have "big people" food but we don't like how long you're taking. Please hurry!

Love, Macie

What we've been up to

2009-11-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

We went to the Thanksgiving Point corn maze for Lydie's birthday!

We went to the corn maze with Matt, Lecia & Kennedy.

We played with Cousin Eden

We took a trip last weekend to Oakland/San Francisco (more on that later)

KJ was asked to be a presenter in the Economic Self-Reliance Conference at BYU. He spoke about the work he has done with MicroBusiness Mentors. He did a great job and I'm so proud of him!

We went to our ward Halloween party. Eva is our little pumpkin seed!

Lake Powell

2009-10-25T16:53:00.001-07:00

This one time, we went to Lake Powell and took some pictures....

The girlies on the boat. This is right before we got lost (on the boat) in the dark and had to navigate 20 miles to Bullfrog using the stars. True story.

K.J. heard Sea World was hiring...but they didn't hire everyone. Rejected, he attempted to put on Lake Powell's first marine wildlife show. Unfortunately, it turns out carp are not as intelligent as dolphins. Maybe he will go to law school after all. The end.

How Eva got her start as a rock starlet.

The whole clan...on a rock.

Into the wilderness!

First Oreo.

Yes, that life jacket with arms is our baby.

Too cool to move.

Eva & Grandma Laurie

Videos

2009-10-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

Here it is Bethany & Meagan! One morning Eva figured out how to play the Kazoo. . .what talent for a 10 month old! :)

She can't quite figure out how to jump in the Jumperoo. But she's good at swinging in it! And yes, we were watching Cinderella. Gotta introduce Eva to all things Disney!

This is how Eva gets around. She CAN crawl but she is still perfecting that skill. I love the sounds she makes. Inch worm scooting takes so much effort!

Need a Good Laugh?

2009-09-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

Or something to help procrastinate more? Please visit these websites/blogs. I have been cracking up about them all day.

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
www.talkaholicsanonymous.blogspot.com

The Zoo

2009-09-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

The group (minus Sis. Andersen, she's taking the picture)

She was little leary of the giraffes at first
(she would panic if I took her out of the stroller)
but then she loved them.

While KJ spent the day at the BYU-Zoo, Eva & I took a field trip to the Hogle Zoo with the Andersen girls. I think Eva is still a bit young to appreciate the zoo animals. She was more interested in the watching the waterfalls/pools in the cages and eating Gerber puffs. The only animals she paid attention to were the zebras, the giraffes and the behind of an elephant! I hadn't been to the zoo since Elementary School so it was fun for me too. Did you know that giraffe's can kill a lion with one kick? Or that when elephant's poop they distribute seeds into the ground? I didn't either. Thanks for the invite Brittany!

I miss. . .

2009-08-31T10:43:00.001-07:00

Richard Simmons and his aerobics class in L.A.

It's true. His class is my kind of workout. Music blaring. You're dancing/high-kicking/grapevining your heart out. You leave sweaty but with a ginormous grin on your face. I have never had that much fun exercising. Plus, the instructor is hilarious and yells things out like "you ate it, now you have to lift it!" Walking on the treadmill this morning just didn't seem to compare and I strangely missed the L.A. craziness. I think I should invest in some of his workout tapes!

WARNING:

2009-07-20T16:22:00.001-07:00

LOTS of pictures below! And more on the way!

Disney

2009-07-20T16:06:00.000-07:00

Eva & I in Mickey Mouse's house

What cute little doggie! (Eva in Pluto's bed)

Look what we caught in Minnie's wishing well!

Work those muscles!

We spent a relaxing Saturday at Disneyland. I love spending time with my hubby and baby girl. It really is the happiest place on Earth! :)

Utah Trip

2009-07-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

Eva's 1st plane ride! She did great. On the way to Utah she got a little fussy when we were landing but on the way home she slept the entire time!

BBQ/Pool party with both families

Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house.

KJ & I helped set-up a spot on the golf course for Zack to propose to Rachael!

The newly engaged couple!

We spent lots of time with family. Here we are with Tyson at Sunday dinner.

Professor/Harry Potter Eva

Boating with the Strattons
(Kylie, Eden & Bethany came too!)

4th of July

2009-07-13T14:25:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Uncle Eric, we were able to go to Utah for the 4th of July. It was so nice to get away from all the city craziness and spend time with our families. The 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. Our day was filled with having breakfast with the Millers, going to the parade, golfing, having a BBQ with both families and watching fireworks!

"Da-Da"

2009-06-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Half of a One

2009-06-05T09:20:00.001-07:00

When KJ was little, if anyone would ask "How old is your baby sister/brother?", he would respond with, "Half of a one." Then usually the person would laugh and KJ could never figure out why they laughed. Now Eva is "half of a one"! We love her so much and are so glad she came to our family.

Fun facts about Eva at 6 months:

*She loves amusement parks. She loves looking around at everything and watching people. She has been to Disneyland 3 times now.
*She rolls from her back to her tummy and tummy to back.
*She's getting very mobile. She rolls around and army crawls. She also does this weird back-arching scooting thing like cousin Eden used to do.
*She loves paper (wrappers, sticky notes, toilet paper rolls, maps, pretty much anything!). If there is paper on the ground somewhere, she will find it. She is ripping up a piece of paper at the moment!
*She's afraid of the blow dryer. I can't figure out why. She hasn't had a bad experience with one.
*She loves people. She often smiles and "talks" to strangers.
*She can say "da-da" and that makes her daddy very happy!
*She eats rice cereal and oatmeal. She likes the oatmeal WAY better than the rice. (I agree with her, I tried a bite and the rice is disgusting!)
*She has learned to whack people in the face. She only does this to her mommy. Not a good sign.
*At least 4 people have said we should send her picture to a modeling/commercial agency.
*She loves Relief Society. Really. She could be the grumpiest baby ever during church but when Relief Society starts, she perks up and is super smiley/talkative/etc. It's so funny.
*At church she often "sings" along with everyone.
*The other day, someone asked if she was 2 or 3 months old!

We Love Disneyland!

2009-06-02T15:00:00.001-07:00

We spent the day with the Conrads (our cousins).

Our "spot" :)

We had only been in the park an hour and she was already pooped!

Muppets 3D

Winnie-the-Pooh ride

Waiting for the fireworks to start.

Guess what? We got annual passes to Disneyland! It's been a blast so far. Eva loves amusement parks (we also went to Universal Studios, pictures to come). Seriously, she just chills in her stroller and looks around at all the people and sights to see. I'm amazed at how alert and observant she is. She's not a fan of 3D shows (I think they're too loud) and was a little apprehensive of Pirates of the Caribbean. Of course, KJ & I love being at Disneyland and re-living our engagement every time we go. Plus, since we now live 30 min. (without traffic) away we can pop into the park anytime we want!

Discovery

2009-05-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

When we were leaving Costco, Eva discovered that she could make a cool new sound!

Welcome to L.A.

2009-05-23T16:00:00.001-07:00

We went to this restaurant for Betty's (one of the other interns) birthday. It's called Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. It sounds very strange but surprisingly good (apparently it's been featured on the Food Network multiple times). While we were there I overheard this black man exclaim, "Wow, I've never seen so many white people before!"

Then the other day, we heard police/ambulance/firetruck sirens so we looked out our apartment window and saw that they were all headed to the park across the street (you can't see the park very well because it's blocked by the overpass but it's there). The police officers parked their cars and then ran as fast as they could to the park (all of the cars parked on the street in the video are police cars!). We could see the cops gathered together in the park. Then we saw them take someone away on a stretcher and they marked part of the park with yellow crime scene tape. We're still not sure what happened but we suspect a shooting or stabbing. We never could find anything on the news. I haven't dared go to the park alone since!

Also, a couple weeks ago KJ & I got lost one night and ended up 25 miles away from our apartment. We stopped at a grocery store so KJ could buy a map (this is before we got a GPS). I sat in the back of the car and fed Eva while he was gone. While I was sitting there (in the dark, I might add) a bunch of cops pulled into the parking lot and arrested 5 guys. It was pretty freaky because they were only 2 cars away from me! But I survived and we got home safely.

We are definitely NOT in Utah anymore! Welcome to LA.!

Life Comes At You Fast

2009-05-21T09:47:00.000-07:00

May 2007: Just engaged (literally)

May 2008: Married and 3 months pregnant

May 2009: Have a 6 month old baby!

Happy Birthday Cousin Eden!

2009-05-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Eden,

I hope you had a good 1st birthday (on the 12th)! I miss playing with you and laughing/squealing at you. I can't wait to see you at Christmastime!

Love, Eva

Santa Monica Pier

2009-05-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Last week we spent a day at the Santa Monica Pier. The pier is the inspiration for Paradise Pier at Disneyland. We had fun walking along the boardwalk and giving Eva her first beach experience.

Old Sacramento

2009-05-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

We stayed in Sacramento, CA for a couple of days while KJ did training for his internship. Right across the street from our hotel was Old Sacramento, the original Sacramento. It's this really cool western/train/gold miner town. There are lots of neat shops, cafes, restaurants and museums. Eva & I spent lots of time there while KJ was working. She loved being in the stroller and just checking everything out.

A Baby Story

2009-05-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

I just watched the show A Baby Show where the girl gave birth to her baby at home in a tub of water. I NEVER want to do that. Doesn't look fun. But I will admit, I got teary at the end when the baby first cried. What a tender, amazing moment. I need to stop watching this show, it's going to make me baby hungry!

Monday Memory: The Firsts

2009-05-11T12:47:00.001-07:00

The 1st Date: Our first date was during the summer of 2006. We played frisbee golf, had a candlelight picnic in the park and saw the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" at the Scera Shell. We double with Trent Boulter. We had a great time. This was the beginning to our story.

The 1st Hand Hold: We first held hands at Matt Melville's house during the movie "Red Eye." I don't remember all the details. I do remember that we were sitting next to each other on the couch and KJ reached for my hand. I liked it. :)

The 1st Kiss: Our first kiss was on the golf course. KJ had been played golf with his sister Eliza when I came to hang out with them. We golfed for a little while and then KJ & I went for a ride around the course in a golf cart. We drove up the back 9 to the top of the course (hole 12, I think). It was dark and we could see the lights of the whole valley. It was so pretty. We were standing there hugging when I accidentally hit his nose with my head. I kissed his nose. And then we kissed for real.

The 1st time I knew I loved KJ: I had been thinking a lot about KJ and our relationship and I kept thinking, "I think I really love him." But I had never been in love before so I wasn't completely sure. One night I was talking to my friend Cathy and she made the comment that she knew she loved her fiance because whenever she thought about him "love" was the only word that described how she felt about him. I felt like this was true with me too but I still needed time to think and pray about it. Then one night in December I really knew. We had spent the evening with KJ's family at temple square looking at the Christmas lights. On the way home (we were in 2 cars) KJ's brother had a medical problem and his parents had to rush him to the hospital. So they took one car and we took the other kids home. I was so impressed with KJ in this difficult situation. He just took charge and was so calm. He made dinner and sat all the kids down and explained the situation to them so they wouldn't worry. Right at that moment I knew that I really loved KJ and that I had for awhile. I knew that he was the right one for me. I knew that he would be a great father. I knew that I wanted to be with him for eternity. And my wish came true.

The 1st "I Love You": The first time we said "I love you" we were sitting in my car outside KJ's parents house on New Years Eve. I was getting ready to go home after a family party (the first time I met the Bountiful Strattons!) and we were talking and saying goodbye. As we were sitting there KJ looked at me and said, "Guess what?" I said, "What?" He said, "I love you, Macie" I responded, "I love you too!" Then we smiled at each other and then we kissed. And we've been in love ever since. :)

Note: the picture above was taken the morning after we first said "I love you"

We Made It!

2009-05-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it to California! We are staying in Sacramento for the next couple of days while KJ has training. Eva & I are just chillin' in the hotel while KJ's at his meetings. The drive here was LONG but it wasn't too bad because Eva was an amazing traveler. She slept most of the way. She would fall asleep then wake up about every 3 hours to eat, play a little and go back to sleep! Then when we got to the hotel we put her to bed and she slept until 8 am! So, the travels were good. We did hit a major rain storm right as we were going through the mountains (in the dark too) which was pretty scary but we made it through!

5 Months

2009-04-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

Eva is 5 months old! Crazy! I can't believe how fast she is growing. Her personality is really starting to come out and she's at a fun stage. Here are some facts about Eva at 5 months:

*She still wears 0-3 month clothes (she weighs 13 lbs.)
*She has discovered her tongue & ears (see picture)
*She is very attached to her mommy
*She laughs when you play with her (she used to only laugh if you tickled her). She especially loves peek-a-boo and when daddy or mommy sneeze or hiccup.
*She can give "kisses" but only does it to her Aunt Lydie
*She has now survived 3 small colds, a fall off the couch & a ceiling head bump
*She can roll over
*She loves being outside. The other day I took her for a walk and she loved it. She was outside, had a toy to chew on and barefeet. You would have thought she was in heaven. She's really going to like summer.
*She likes it when I sing primary songs to her in the car.
*She's afraid of the hand mixer and a little leary of the blow dryer.

Monday Memory: The Beginning

2009-04-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, let's start from the very beginning. KJ & I met in Junior High, he was in 7th grade and I was in 8th grade. Neither of us remembers exactly when we met. One friend says we met at a stake dance but we're not sure. We have been in the same group of friends since then. We never dated or even had a secret crush on each other throughout jr. high or high school. After high school, I moved to Arizona to go to school and he went on a mission to Venezuela. I didn't write him once his whole mission!

We went on our first date the summer of 2006 after he came home from his mission. I still remember the night he called to ask me on a date. I remember thinking how easy it was to talk to KJ and how nice he was. Our first date consisted of a frisbee golfing, a candlelight cereal dinner, "Fiddler on the Roof" at the Scera Shell and my first taste of apple soda (one of his favorite drinks from his mission). We had a lot of fun but still considered ourselves "just friends." While we were at the play we saw one of the Stratton's family friends, he asked KJ who I was and he said "That's Macie, she's just a friend." After the date one of our friends asked me if I liked KJ, I replied with, "Ew! No, that would be weird!" Even though we weren't dating, we started doing lots of things together after that. Some of those things included movies with friends, weekly sushi nights at Damae and institute dances.

Our second & third dates were in the fall of 2006. One week KJ asked me on two dates, one on Wednesday and one on Friday. The 2nd date was a picture scavenger hunt and the 3rd was a show at BYU & dinner (pictured above). More on these dates later. So, that's were it all began. And I'm so glad it did!

Monday Memories

2009-04-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

Starting next week, I will be stealing an idea from my friend Meagan and post a memory each week. The other day I was thinking about when KJ & I were dating, our honeymoon, wedding, etc. and I realized that I didn't keep a journal during that time. So, in an attempt to not forget our memories I decided to do Monday Memories!

The Rock Show

2009-03-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, it's not what you think. We went to a show of actual ROCKS not rock n' roll rock! It's an annual gathering of rocks, minerals and gems. You walk around and look at all the cool rock displays and booths. My Grandpa Walker had a display at the show. He makes necklaces and belt buckles out of rocks that he finds and polishes. KJ and I own a couple of these nifty treasures made by Grandpa. It was a fun rock-filled morning!

Grandpa's display

They had these dinosaur things that a guy would put on and walk around in.

Eva in the mouth of the dinosaur!

Eva & Eden in the dino's tummy! (I think we may have traumatized her!) :)

The fam with Grandpa at the show.

California Dreamin'

2009-03-18T13:58:00.001-07:00

For those of you who haven't heard, we are moving to Los Angeles in May! KJ got a summer internship with Porter Novelli, a Public Relations firm (one of the top 5 in the world!). KJ will leave for training on May 4th and then Eva & I will meet him down there when he's done (around May 18th). It's a pretty sweet deal. They pay for housing and food and pay KJ on top of that! It will definitely be a new & exciting adventure!

Eva Update

2009-03-17T13:57:00.001-07:00

Eva is now 4 months old! I can't believe how fast time flies! She now weighs 11 lbs. 14 oz. and is 23 1/4 in. long. She's in the 8th percentile for her weight and in the 15th for her height, so is a tiny little squirt! She can smile, giggle, "talk", grab things (like toys & hair), turn in the direction of voices/noises, sleep for 6 hours straight (wahoo!!), play with toys and hold her head up. She loves looking at and sucking her hands and fingers (especially her thumb!). Eva can finally (sort of) play with her cousin Eden. They smile/grab/poke/drool on each other. The other day Eva was crying and Eden crawled over and patted Eva on the head as if she was comforting her. When Eva didn't stop crying, Eden kissed her. It was cute but it just made Eva mad. Silly girl. Eva is also getting a little sassy (oh dear!). If she doesn't like something, she will let you know by her angry squeals, grunts and dirty looks. We love her so so much!

My Latest Hobby

2009-02-24T14:48:00.000-08:00

Is cooking, I have grown to love it. If you knew me before I got married you know that I used to really dislike cooking, so this is a major improvement for me. I especially love finding new recipes and trying them out. I love searching different cooking blogs, cookbooks, etc. for new ideas. Here are some of my favorite cooking sites (I think you should check them out!):

http://www.dinnermadepossible.blogspot.com/
http://www.picky-palate.com/
www.rachaelray.com/food
http://www.millavillacooks.blogspot.com/
http://www.freezehappy.blogspot.com/

P.S. The picture is a tribute to my Muppet-loving husband! :) The Swedish Chef is my favorite Muppet character. Love you KJ!

Kewpie Doll

2009-02-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Lots of people have told me that Eva looks like a Kewpie doll. What do you think?

2 Months

2009-02-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

Fun facts about Eva at 2 months:

*She loves being naked. She would be the happiest baby in the world if I let her hang out in her diaper all day long. Diaper changes and baths are her favorite. At her 2 month check up she was more than happy to lay on the exam table with nothing on. She just waved her arms & legs and "talked" to the doctor.

*Speaking of liking to be naked, Eva HATES getting dressed, especially when you pull things over her head. She will let you know that she doesn't like it. She has a specific "angry" cry that she does when this happens.

*She is awesome at taking medicine. You can give her medicine without getting a single drop on her face or clothes. She just happily sucks it down and cries when it's gone. The nurse who gave oral Rotavirus vaccine was amazed.

*She likes being held so she can see everything that's going on. She loves being in the middle of the action. We went to IKEA the other day and she would get fussy unless she could look around at everything.

*I can't believe how well-behaved she is in public. She loves running errands and going places. On the days we don't go anywhere she gets really fussy. We took her to the movie last weekend and she just sat on my lap and stared wide-eyed at the screen. She watched the entire movie and didn't cry once!

*One day we went to Cafe Rio with my mom and sister. The cashier saw Eva and thought she was adorable. She then called all of her fellow employees (including the cooks in the back of the restaurant!) to come see the cute baby. We held up the entire line at Cafe Rio!

*Most people think she looks the most like her dad.

*We love, love, love her and are so glad she came to our family!

Happy Girl

2009-01-25T18:32:00.000-08:00

Eva first started smiling on Christmas Eve. After one of her nighttime feedings she looked up at me and I said "Merry Christmas!" and she smiled. She has been smiling a ton ever since but she would never smile for a picture. Last week Lydie finally caught it on camera!

Eva's 1st Swim!

2009-01-22T12:05:00.000-08:00

St. George

2009-01-22T11:35:00.001-08:00

We spent the weekend in St. George with Tyson, Bethany & Eden. I was nice to getaway. We had a blast visiting the St. George temple grounds & Brigham Young's home, sleeping, eating, swimming, watching movies and playing games. Plus, one night Eva only woke up ONCE!

Merry Christmas!

2009-01-12T15:09:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a little slow but better late than never, right? Warning: there are lots of pictures below!

Eva on Christmas morning. She got her first knife from Grandpa Stratton!

Reenacting the Elfin War of 1812

Eva as Baby Jesus in the Nativity

Cousin Eden the Angel

Oooh. . .lights!

New Accomplishment

2008-12-17T16:04:00.000-08:00

So, this one time I tried on my pre-pregnancy jeans ONE WEEK after my baby was born (Note to other new moms: DO NOT do this, it's very depressing). My stomach had flattened faster than I thought it would so I thought for sure they would fit. But they didn't. I couldn't even get them over my hips. But guess what. . .they do now!! I, Macie Stratton, can wear my pre-pregnancy jeans! Wahoo! But they still don't button so I have to do the elastic trick (you know, where you loop an elastic around the button hole?). I don't care though because I don't have to wear my maternity jeans anymore!! :)

Look what I did!

2008-11-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I went to the hospital in lots of pain

when all of a sudden, I had one of these...

...and I haven't been the same since.

The end, by Macie.

Large & In Charge

2008-11-12T11:41:00.000-08:00

I feel BIG. Not FAT, just big (there's a difference, I promise). It's more like "My husband has to push me out of bed in the morning" big or "Oops, I just knocked over a store display" big or "Look out or I'll plow you over!" kind of big. It's exciting. I can't put my own shoes or socks on anymore and I can't paint my toenails either. Thank heavens for amazing husbands (like KJ) who are willing to do those things for you! The other day we went to Tucanos and I could barely fit into the booth! That's NEVER happened to me before. I've always fit everywhere! But the strange thing is that it didn't make me feel bad, it was just funny. Kind of like the time I couldn't fit into the bathroom stall at church (it was a really small one, I think it was made for the Sunbeams or something!). Oh dear. This whole pregnancy thing has sure been an adventure. Can't wait for what's next!

1 Month To Go!

2008-10-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

Pumpkins

2008-10-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Meet Mildred & Melvin, our pumpkins.

We carved them with Matt & Lecia.

Watch Me Grow!

2008-10-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

6 months

(we were doing a murder mystery dinner, that's why I'm wearing a sparkly dress!)

7 months

8 months

Tag

2008-10-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Brittany tagged me so here goes. . .I too am going to forgo some of the one-word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse.
2. Where is your significant other? At school.
3. Your hair color? Brown. In need of another coloring.
4. Your mother? Very talented. In fact, she's been teaching me how to can grape juice today!
5. Your father? Awesome. He's the best Dad a girl could have!
6. Your favorite thing? Family and friends. Other favorite things of the moment include warm baths, pillows and KJ's back rubs.
7. Your dream last night? Don't remember. I didn't sleep very well.
8. Your dream/goal? To get my six-pack back after my baby is born!
9. The room you're in? My parents office/computer room.
10. Your hobby? Homemaking. At least, I'm trying to learn. I like to find and try new recipes. I am also learning how to make bread and to can homemade jam, peaches, pears, juice, etc. Someday I will learn how to sew by myself.
11. Your fear? Labor and delivery.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happily married with a few more kids and have KJ almost done with school.
13. Where were you last night? At home.
14. What you're not? I'm definitely not tall!
15. One of your wish-list items? A Boppy pillow.
16. Where you grew up? Orem, Utah.
17. The last thing you ate? A mini Hershey's dark chocolate bar.
18. What are you wearing? Jeans and a blue shirt.
19. Your TV? Is at home.
20. Your pet? None.
21. Your computer? Don't have one.
22. Your mood? Happy & content.
23. Missing someone? Yes. I hardly ever see KJ. He's a busy man! But I appreciate all he does.
24. Your car? Is black and gets good gas mileage.
25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes, lipgloss, a swimsuit.
26. Favorite store? Target.
27. Your summer? I agree with Brittany, it was HOT!
28. Love someone? YES! Lots of someones.
29. Your favorite color? Red, pink and creamy yellow.
30. When is the last time you laughed? A couple minutes ago.
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday, I was reading a REALLY SAD book.

Quack, Quack

2008-10-02T19:11:00.001-07:00

The other day while working at the Golf Course, I had an interesting conversation with a random guy that went something like this:

Man: "So. . .When's hatchin' time?"
Me: "Huh?"
long pause where I'm totally confused
Me: "Oh. Do you mean when's my baby due?
Man: "Yeah"
Me: "November"
end of conversation

I wanted to say, "Well, I need to go sit on my eggs. Have a good day!" But I controlled myself.

So, apparently I look like a duck or some other creature that lays eggs. Note to self: don't become a science teacher because you don't know the word for that, is it amphibious? Note to Man: ask your mom about how human babies are born. Yes it's true that pregnant women sometimes waddle but that DOESN'T make me a duck!

I. . .

2008-09-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

just experienced my 1st "for sure" Braxton-Hicks contraction! It happened while I was posting my last post. But don't worry, it didn't hurt. And it's normal (it means my body is getting ready for baby girl!). I'm weird. . .

Almost Famous

2008-09-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

Annie's post got me thinking about how much I loved my wedding day. If anyone cares, you can watch the reception part of our wedding video at http://www.cascadeweddings.blogspot.com/! Click on Keven & Macie July 26th (on the right hand side).

I forgot how cool our cake looked! (At least in my opinion!) I wanted that wedding cake since I was 13 yrs old (I saw a version of it at a neighbors reception). Funny story, at our reception Grandpa Herb's wife Susan looked at the cake and said, "Hmm, that cake's. . .interesting." Hee hee.

10 Weeks Left!

2008-09-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

I have had many requests to post pictures of my baby bump. I have some but now I can't find the cord that hooks the camera to the computer. I promise I will post them as soon as I can!

The other day KJ was telling me that I complain too much about being pregnant. And I agree. So I thought I would share with all of you some of the reasons why I LOVE being pregnant.

1. I LOVE my tummy. I know this is weird but I like my tummy. I like it's cute and I'm going to miss it when it's gone.

2. I LOVE the fact that I don't have to suck in my stomach all the time. I can let my gut hang out and no one can say anything about it. I can eat a really big meal and no one can tell!

3. I LOVE that people treat pregnant women so well. I get doors opened for me even more now, groceries loaded to the car, people carry things for me. It's great. Everyone pays attention to you and compliments you. It's like being a quasi celebrity.

4. I LOVE maternity clothes, especially maternity jeans. They are SO comfy. I think they should make all jeans like that. I don't want to go back to regular jeans.

5. I LOVE that use can use pregnancy as an excuse for anything. Say something stupid? I'm pregnant. Forget something? I'm pregnant. Slept in til noon? I'm pregnant. Feeling grumpy or sad? I'm pregnant. Just ate 3 quesadillas & 5 cookies? It's ok, I'm pregnant.

6. I LOVE feeling my baby move. It is the most amazing thing in the world. We can now see her move on the outside of my tummy. I like to sit and watch my tummy roll, twitch and bulge, I could do it all day.

7. I LOVE thinking about our little girl. My patriarchal blessing says "You will be blessed with the choicest of Heavenly Father's spirits to adorn your home." This makes me excited and curious to meet her. I wonder what she's going to look like, what her personality is going to be like, what her talents will be, what Heavenly Father has in store for her.

8. I LOVE how close it's made KJ and I. We have bonded through awkward/humorous moments (I'll spare you the details), pregnancy scares, sickness, melt downs, back & foot rubs and through the thought and preparation of building our eternal family. The experience has made me love and appreciate him more than ever.

Don't worry. . .

2008-09-15T12:39:00.001-07:00

we are still alive. Just lame bloggers! It doesn't help that we don't have the internet at our house right now.

Baby Face

2008-08-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

Here are the promised pictures of our baby girl! I know ultrasound pictures are kind of confusing but hopefully I explained everything pretty well. I can't wait to meet her!

Her little profile.

Proof she's a girl! (Imagine that the camera is pointing up and she is sitting on the lens. You're looking right between her legs.)

Her cute little face peeking out. You can see her forehead, eyes and nose (it's kinda upside down). If you're wondering, that's the placenta on the left!

It's a. . .

2008-07-26T09:45:00.001-07:00

GIRL!!

Pictures to come. . .